I know I’ve really been riding #empathy a lot lately it is just filling a lot of my thoughts and so it plays in to todays show it is just a little slice of some of what I’ve been noticing lately.
My empathy kicked in somewhere around the 3rd or fourth time I heard this guy, younger end for being in a bar, start in about “my buddy (Kyle/Chris/Steve) said…” This guys had at this point gone a full 45 minutes without contributing a solid thought that he was wiling to attribute to himself.
Now I know I’ve seen this as a more common tactic amount much younger people. The attempt to dilute any negative reaction to an idea by attributing it to someone else. But as I gave it real thought I find myself as always looking into the psychology of peoples decision making.
YOU ARE SO SCARED OF THE NEGATIVE JUDGEMENTS OF OTHERS that you would rather have minimized credit for a thought provoking insight, or maybe even a BRILLIANT idea. That is a a difficult commentary on how you see yourself and in turn how you portray yourself.
Lets go with benefit of the doubt and say that this guy really did have a lot insightful friends and really did want to share all their thoughts. Ok but give us more, give us YOUR thoughts on it all.
The real value is in contributing OUR own genuine piece of he puzzle, give me your thoughts on the topic, no matter how they got to you pass on yours to me.
I have definitely found my Happiness in being genuine. One of the biggest problems I faced when I was young was that I wanted to be “COOL”(Huge shout out to @Stephyev11 who text me in the middle of a little creative block on this about how cool I am which took me into a lot of these thoughts) I looked around and I liked this about that person and that about another person and I went about trying to do all those things better. Huge mistake… It took me a long time to realize that what I truly wanted was to be happy with myself, hat the opinions of those around me didn’t make you cool. Or maybe it’s better to look at it this way. In the same way money won’t make you happy, the opinions of others won’t either.
We are truly at our happiest, at our best being genuine. Whenever we are anything but ourselves we end up basically being a poor copy. I just can’t be anything other than myself quite as well as I can be myself. When I am just being genuine I find the most happiness because I know, awkward as I can be a lot of times it is just humorous to me. The sting of awkwardness is essentially the thought you aren’t doing what people think you should. WHO CARES. You are doing what you thought in exactly that moment and that matters more than anything.
The other aspect of being genuine is that it buys forgiveness. I’d be lying if I wasn’t frank about the double edged nature of this sword. This buys those in bad forms of genuine forgiveness too and I’ll use the negative first because unfortunately like many things that is what we tend to focus on.
Have you ever heard the phrase uttered Oh that’s just Kyle he’s selfish, that’s just Chris he an asshole, that’s just Ron he’s a…insert your own adjective here. That phrase is our way of forgiving people for being what they truly are. We simply don’t hold it against Kelly that she stops to pull out her camera…yes I said camera…(Side Note:I have a concept working, scenes in a bar, where I share a lot of the bar experiences, myself and others have walked up on or witnessed…this is one of them) and makes the few girls there early pose in a handful of spots throughout the place for pictures she asks the bartender to take. (She did warn me that these were not the actual pictures, just lighting tests so she wouldn’t waste all of the girls time with this)…but I digress we don’t hold it against Kelly that she drags her friends around looking for the perfect shot instead of just enjoying the moment or even having a quick picture taken to remember it by. That’s just Kelly.
The truth of it all is the being genuine is where our happiness lies, it makes us happier in knowing we are awesome in our own skills and abilities and thoughts and contributions. It also buys us forgiveness when we miss on our goals. I am constantly working on #happiness #Empathy #gratitude and #giving…but in those moments where I struggle to live that and find I’m not living that I know the people around me will forgive me because they know the genuine person I am.