Had an awesome conversation earlier this weekend at the bar with @terbear978 @xtinakuehn and @lindseyerindickmann about people they felt and people they just didn’t want to deal with but kind of had to suffer because they are friends of friends. It gave me a great opportunity to share my current mindset that has really helped me in general.
People only fall into two categories for me. Let me first give you a raw bit of honesty…I am constantly trying to better myself so when I say this is my mindset. That isn’t a passive thing. I actively put myself into this place.
I am constantly evaluating people. I have the opportunity to meet so many people working in the bar. It just gives me a wider range of exposure. That in itself is such a blessing because of the value I can get from those interactions.
Every time I hit that evaluation it is simple. People only really go into two holes for me. The first one is super easy. Their rad and they bring something to your table and all you have to do is give them gratitude and kindness and boom and they will return with more of themselves which I have already decide I want.
The second cubby is the one I want you to pay attention to. The people that don’t do it for you, they just go in the #empathy spot. Remember that they are who they are because of everything they went through to get here. They were born with a certain framework, they were not given the attention as a child, by their parent, their friends, their teachers. They had a loved one pass, they had one they loved pass on them. Whatever it is it’s theirs. Showing them empathy for their situation is the only necessary response you need to have.
The girl who sits alone in the bar over and over because she is just a little different looking, sounding whatever…she just want’s some one to give her some time and treat her like she is an equal.
The one who tells you about this experience she went to. She has laid her own value in that experience and just wants someone to see that value, it is easy to just appreciate them and let them see they are worthwhile in their own right.
The guy who rolls in at the end of the night to get his last beer and a snack because he was grinding all day wants to know that you see that effort. Let him talk it out and share it till he’s so comfortable socially that he comes in during the day and pushes interaction with more and more.
I have found all these traits difficult in the past, because I myself am not super socially adept I find other peoples social needs difficult. But I know I am just a step ahead of a lot of people in that growth and comfort and what kind of un #grateful asshole am I if I can’t reach back and help other people along the way