I want to take a moment for some gratitude, a handful of people have taken time to talk to me about my podcast. I really appreciate all the support and mostly I appreciate the honest feedback. A couple of things I heard we the tone…in their own ways several people who I value said that I need to speak more from my own experience and less from the preachy tell you what to do. I’ve taken that to heart and I’ll be polishing that part of things but I want you all to know that it comes from a place of real desire to give, I want to give people the happiness I’ve found
I have been reading Ray Dalio’s book Principles where he talks a lot about the idea of having a set of principles that guide you. I think we all do have some basics that we believe but I know for me the more I create and buy into the more I find the ease of them.
It comes down to efficiency for me. I wasn’t always a good person. I have stolen and fought and taken advantage of others and just been a person of generally poor quality.
When I think back to that point in my life I can recall lot’s of moments where I made choices that led to the person. Am I going to steal from my employer. Am I going to help my employer steal from others. Am I going to use drugs. Am I going to react to whatever situation I am in with violence or anger.
The thing about principles is it removes those moments of decision for me.
It is doubly beneficial. The obvious benefit lies in the fact I get to live a better life and be a better human. Trust me this always comes back to me in spades. Just last night a friend of our, Eric, offered to help the girl opening up a Bakery, one of our businesses, with her website because he had received so much help from someone else. The interesting part, that I shared with him, is that our friend who helped him learn so he could do his website was also involved in the bakery. That good was going to come around either way, but it came as a direct result of a giving act of kindness from the past.
The secondary benefit of principles is the time and worry it saves you. If you don’t steal because your principles say that you are stand up person of character who can be trusted you don’t have to decide if you are going to or not.
But it doesn’t have to be a hugs significant issue. Principles manifest themselves in minutia as well.
As person in the service industry you are often times faced with a dilemma of how to decide who to let pay. People will often argue over the bill and maneuver to get around the person and pay the whole tab.
Industry people are often tempted to figure out who the better tipper will be. It’s ironic because you are often surprised by the tip a person leaves when they are on their own, so trying to guess it amongst a group is nearly impossible. But the temptation persists.
In my own life now I find that I would like to figure out who is doing it for the right reason. I have no interest in giving in to the desire of a showboat who wants to “be the ma” by paying, I want to figure out who is truly being generous. But this too is futile. How can I judge things like that in such a brief encounter.
I have a very simple principle for this. I always let the first person to ask pay. The beauty is it removes ALL THE DECISION MAKING. I just stick to my principle and it eases the process for me. But it also eases it for them. People will often times be troubled by me not allowing them to pay. (I have even heard the word offended) but when you explain that this is simply how you do it and have always done it it removes THEM from he decision and takes any person sting away from it.
What are your principles. How do they shape your character and most importantly how do they serve as tools to make you better.